Stardust,sadness, feeble thoughts.

There was a time when looking at the sky made me feel like a part of something huge and beautiful... I felt nice about myself, that I'm built of stardust and love. But sometimes now when I look up...these thoughts elude me like the stars. And I feel in me a sadness so deep, so ancient and unexplainable, that…

Cold floor, colder feelings, smoke and more

you know what's beautiful? when i sit on cold floor, and even colder feelings inside of me... and i know, that finally i'm home alone and i can afford to release. But somehow, i cannot because there is always a hesitation that chokes back sobs and words alike... either arising because i sit there not…

Split : part 2

What a helpless cringing excuse for a person. How did you manage to become this, girl?How did you manage this drastic change of head and heart? Or was it already happening, so slow and small that I could hardly notice? *sigh* Give me a bit of a disclaimer before you do this next. Teach me…

i am.

hurtful words. avoiding glances. silent tension. biting back. lumping throat. heavy sighs. tired eyes. futile attempts. beaten will. lost desire. broken breath. trailing tears. empty insides. hollowed hopes... conflict, intolerance, hate, anger, distrust, pretense... i am defeated.    my head screams into the pages of my diary-smeared and marked in forced, forceful lines of graphite. my…

I’ll not resist

Here I am. Standing on the very edge. All it takes is a single push. And I'll not resist.  I will let go. Look. My feet trace the rugged contours of the cliff. Tender skin is enough to rub off loose gravels and send them plummeting down...  I can almost hear it call me. The…

Cry Away (but wait for the night)

........ That one gentle breeze,  felt hardly by skin too trained,  for reality.  . Doesn't blow you away,  but makes a way,  for dreamy light to touch your gaze.  . Doesn't speak to you,  but seems to say, "Stay up this night let the tears surface." . When dreams don't seem enough to fill hollows…

Tearing through…

When the heart is worn, of being apart, of being alone. . When an ache is born, in the vacant voids, and the echoing noise. . When the love is torn, like angry flesh, that bled. like those letters, I misread. . It comes tearing through . The suppression, The restrictions, The constriction, The confessions.…